Sirens in the Undercurrent

The Cultural Impacts of the Toxic Feminine

Power isn’t just for the loud, demanding, and exuberant. It does not always thrive in the daylight hours, the mahogany podiums, or the war-torn boots clapping against the pavement. There is power too in the moonlight, in the shadows that shelter the nocturnal predators and the insects whose size disguises their deadly bite. It is in the whispered rumours, the aching silences, and the sworn secrets. It is in the unknown, too insidious and stealthy for golden rays to illuminate.

Toxic Masculinity. If you live in the post-Me Too world, chances are you’ve heard of it. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as, “a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.” This definition is only partially accurate and neglects thousands of years worth of spiritual references to the subject, but that’s a rant for another paper. More urgently, I find it interesting that in nearly ten years of toxic masculinity circulating the cultural zeitgeist, we rarely ever hear of its opposite: Toxic Femininity.

Knowing the feminine, I shouldn’t be surprised. Her power is better represented by a samurai than a roman, undetectable and eroding, but as masculinity continues to be culturally suppressed in response to decades of domination, I fear the feminine rise to power won’t be as eutopic as she promises. Yes, the feminine is nurturing, dreamy, and gobstoppingly beautiful, but she is also deceptive, conniving, and mistakenly underestimated.

Before I begin, it’s important I clarify the lens from which I am observing the cultural and societal impacts of the masculine and feminine. Until recently, masculinity and femininity were cross-culturally recognized as spiritual entities that can be worked with, channeled, and embodied: Shiva and Shakti of Tantra, Yin and Yang in Taoism, Anima and Animus as defined by Jung, etc. They are not sex specific but rather energetic frequencies that we all contain and work to balance. This is best represented by the birth chart which always contains both masculine and feminine planets and zodiacal characters, no matter the biological sex of the native. That being said, the male and female anatomies are often perfect metaphors for masculine and feminine energies and may be used as such.

Masculinity vs. Femininity

Understanding the masculine and feminine energies in both their glory and collapse is crucial to comprehending their larger, societal effect. In their purest forms, the masculine and feminine are perfect collaborators. They are the “opposites attract” couple of energetic states. They each contain different positive and negative traits which are challenged and mitigated by their opposition. For example, if the feminine is the garden, attractive and nourishing, the masculine is the fence which serves to protect and contain. If they maintain respect for one another, these energies perform in perfect harmony, seamlessly filling each other’s gaps and making up for each other’s lack. If either attempts to dominate, the symbiosis is poisoned and a war is ignited.

Masculinity is associated with linear thinking, logic, action, and protection. This is clearly exemplified by the masculine planets: Mars, Saturn, and Jupiter. All three planets work in tandem to encapsulate masculine energy. Jupiter is optimistic and goal oriented, driven by positive visions of the future, while Mars is energetic and competitive, ready to fight for what is rightly his. Both are grounded by Saturn’s routine orientedness, steady and strategic. When one or two dominate, it can result in overly restrictive or ruthless behavior.

Healthy masculine cultures value strength, protection, and organization. They build, not as a means of aimlessly conquering, but to protect and conserve. For example, Woodrow Wilson’s creation of the National Park Service exemplifies a valiant use of masculinity. Boundary lines were set in the name of preserving something beautiful (feminine), and there is a sense of direct officiality by declaring its presence.

Toxically masculine cultures are typically authoritarian, with an emphasis on action, war, and defense. They are overly protective, often losing sight of what it is they are protecting. The toxic masculine appears out of paranoia. Fear of losing control becomes overwhelming, and the masculine energy tightens its grip. Too much chaos, emphasis on emotionality, or a lack of order triggers the masculine to become aggressive and commanding. For example, the United States’ involvement in the Vietnam War appears to be a direct result of masculine paranoia and inflated ego. With the ongoing Cold War, fear of communism amongst Americans was at an all time high, and in the aftermath of World War II, the U.S. government felt it was their duty to police nations experimenting with socialism and communism even at the expense of American citizens’ lives.

Feminine energy plays a more mysterious role in the energetic world. Like birth and the menstrual cycle, femininity prefers to be in flux. She is typically associated with intuition, receptivity, and subtlety. Like all planetary bodies, the feminine planets have a light and shadow side. The Moon, although nurturing and vulnerable, can be overly sensitive and easily swayed by emotion. Neptune, although spiritually connected, can be deceitful and lost in an unrealistic fantasy. In its search for beauty and connection, Venus can become superficial with a tendency towards people-pleasing.

Healthy feminine societies value freedom of expression, creativity, philanthropy, and collaboration. They seek to nurture their people and share excess resources with neighboring groups in hopes of creating alliances. Feminine cultures champion their artists, fund community maintenance programs, seek to end wars, and advocate for sexual liberation. During the Renaissance, the English monarchy funded William Shakespeare and his company through the system of patronage. It was seen as a demonstration of power and prestige for wealthy individuals to fund artistic movements.

Toxically feminine cultures tend to overspend, infantilize their citizens, and value beauty over efficiency.

They take control over the public by making promises they cannot keep and seize power from the citizens under the guise of providing social services. Toxically feminine leaders are typically loved by the public, not for their policies, but for their charisma and superficial qualities. Although the British monarchy’s funding was crucial in producing some of modern history’s greatest works of art, it also enabled neglect of the lower class. Members of the upper class deceptively hid behind “virtuous” artistic funding to avoid tending to the general public.

Toxic Femininity in Present Culture

I think everyone is fairly familiar with how toxic masculinity has historically impacted western society—federal restrictions on gay marriage, financial oppression of women that lasted until the 1970’s, and the ongoing “forever war” in the Middle East—but with masculinity becoming more socially discouraged, there is an undeniable increase in toxically feminine cultural trends. I first observed the feminine tide rising during the first Trump administration. At the height of Me Too, the slogan “believe all women” gained prominence amongst protesters, a sympathetic sentiment to victims which in practice discourages due process. After the Me Too Movement began unveiling the frequency of sexual assault and harrassment of women, American and European cultures saw a surge in misandrist language. Both men and women, especially those of the younger generations, became desensitized to statements like, “I hate men,” “men suck,” and “all men are evil.” At first this was presented as a joke, but its continued popularity has since resulted in various online misandrist communities, declining dating and marriage rates, and a rise in red pill and incel movements.

Even more recently, toxic femininity is clearly reflected in the growing transgender movement. The feminine does not like containers or restrictions and, at its most extreme, will reject the confines of the human body to the point of self sterilization. One could apply the same logic to plastic surgery, which rejects the limitation of age. It is not only the physical repercussions of these actions that make it toxically feminine but also the public’s response: unmitigated support and sympathy in the name of appearing morally superior. The healthy masculine response to either of these trends may be to reestablish the reality of physical limitations, while the healthy feminine might encourage introspection and self expression without bodily alterations. The toxically feminine response has been to limitlessly validate those struggling with gender dysphoria and physical insecurities without considering the psychological wellbeing of those most vulnerable. In fact, those who question or express concern for trans people are typically met with hostility. The unhealthy feminine covertly operates under the guise of care and support while ultimately protecting her own self interests: popularity and appearing virtuous.

Possibly the first sign of toxic femininity creeping into American culture is the ever-daunting national debt which has increased from $382.6 billion to $36.22 trillion (94x) since 1970. After US currency changed from gold standard to fiat money in 1933, the debt remained in a plateau, but a steady increase began between 1970 and 1980, and since then, that incline has only gotten steeper. Now, I’m not an economist, but I don’t have to be to understand input vs. output. Despite the ever-rising debt, the US government has continued to back foreign aid while neglecting the Disaster Relief Fund, universal healthcare, and homelessness. Again, in its shadow form, femininity struggles to prioritize and favors “what sounds good” over “what is necessary.” At its most extreme, a toxically feminine economy bypasses the reality of limited resources to the point of printing endless funds to make up for their overspending, resulting in a depletion of value in currency, ultimately resulting in hyperinflation.

Historically, both the toxic masculine and toxic feminine have a boomerang effect: when one tries to dominate, the other slingshots back into power. This is made clear in Germany’s response to the Weimar Republic, where attempts at Democratic Socialism resulted in hyperinflation and was ultimately met with Nazi Authoritarianism. The same occurred in China under Mao Zedong and the Soviet Union under Stalin when both shifted from Communism to Totalitarianism. Essentially, the toxic feminine slowly seizes power from the citizens under the false promise to provide for them, fails (resulting in chaos), and the toxic masculine comes in to claim authority. This is ultimately what the west should be concerned about regarding exposure to these toxic frequencies: societal collapse and authoritarianism.

Solutions

I don’t think there is one concrete answer to mitigating this energetic imbalance on a large scale, but I can tell you how I resolve it personally: compromise and self awareness. In my teens and early 20’s, I struggled with impulse control which left me in various dangerous situations with men. After a few years of self analysis, I discovered my impulsiveness was driven by a complicated relationship with my inner animus: the masculine archetype within the subconscious of women. Learning to integrate my father wound and lean into my healthy masculine helped me develop discipline and boundaries—positive expressions of masculinity—but it also pulled me away from my femininity. When the feminine within me felt neglected, I became inappropriately sensitive and insecure. Since, I have learned to balance my feminine and masculine through self awareness and forgiveness. I maintain personal boundaries and routines that protect me from subjecting myself to potential danger while approaching trustworthy relationships with a sense of curiosity and flow. I have compassion for my own emotional states while grounding my self analysis in truth and logic, opposed to storytelling.

This is not to say I successfully balance the masculine and feminine at all times; on the contrary, working with these frequencies is constant maintenance, but the rewards are abundant. Ultimately, this work has resulted in greater emotional security and access to a more authentic version of myself. When I successfully balance my inner masculine and feminine, I can engage in interpersonal relationships more deeply because I do not feel defensive. I can be more discerning with strangers and new friends because I am firm in my limits. I am not intimidated by threats or opposing opinions because I am secure in my logic. I am more openhearted and more curious, interested in both truth and perspective, and sympathetic but not without restrictions.

When looking at the larger, societal energetic disparity, I imagine a similar trajectory. In its purest form, a society is not its government but rather an amalgam of its members. We make up the culture, the values, and the flow of conversation. If our community members are struggling with integrating their inner masculine or feminine, how does that affect the way we treat each other, what we give authority to, or how we approach politics? If you were to balance these energies within yourself, how would it affect how you converse, how you think, how you vote?

Water does not flow without the walls of the river bank. Crops cannot grow if the garden walls block the sun. The feminine cannot thrive without the masculine, nor the masculine without the feminine. These energies within us don’t just need each other, they love each other.